Building Bonds Beyond the Field: The Power of Commitment in Families- Part Two
In part one of this blog series, we discussed the remarkable coaching career of Bob Ladouceur at De La Salle High School, highlighting the profound impact he had on his players beyond the win-loss record. Ladouceur's emphasis on respect, accountability, selflessness, and commitment transcended the game, shaping his players' character and relationships both on and off the field.
Central to his coaching philosophy were commitment cards, which fostered individual goal-setting and mutual accountability among teammates. In this blog, we draw parallels between Ladouceur's coaching methods and their applicability to family dynamics, underscoring the importance of these values in nurturing familial bonds and personal growth.
Implementing commitment cards in a family can be an effective way to encourage responsibility, cooperation, and accountability among family members. Here's a step-by-step guide on how to start:
Introduce the Concept: Discuss the idea behind commitment cards and the ways they will keep family members to commit to certain responsibilities or behaviors.
Identify Areas for Commitment: Brainstorm areas where commitment cards could be beneficial in your family. These could include chores, schoolwork, behavior goals, or any other areas where you want to encourage responsibility.
Design the Cards: Create visually appealing commitment cards to make them attractive and personalized for each family member. Embrace the opportunity to be creative!
Define Commitments: Clearly identify commitments that are specific, achievable, and relevant to the family's goals. More on this in the next blog, stay tuned!
Establish Rewards and Consequences: Align your rewards and consequences with your family’s current goals and ideals. Rewards could include extra screen time, a special treat, or privileges. Consequences might involve loss of privileges or additional chores.
Display the Cards: Display cards in an area where will be frequently seen, such as a bulletin board or refrigerator door.
Regular Check-Ins: Set aside time each week for a family meeting to review everyone's commitments and progress. Celebrate successes and discuss any challenges or setbacks.
Adjust as Needed: Be flexible and willing to adjust the commitments or consequences if necessary. Life circumstances may change, and what works one week may need to be tweaked the next.
Lead by Example: As parents or older siblings, lead by example by making and fulfilling your own commitments. This will reinforce the importance of responsibility and accountability to the rest of the family.
Encourage Encouragement: Encourage family members to support and encourage each other. Positive reinforcement can be a powerful motivator.
Celebrate Successes!
This approach not only strengthens familial bonds but also empowers each member to recognize their unique contributions to the family's well-being.
What can be put on these cards?
Completing Chores: "I commit to completing my assigned chores without reminders or complaints."
Homework Completion: "I commit to completing all of my homework before engaging in leisure activities."
Respecting Quiet Hours: "I commit to keeping noise levels down during designated quiet hours in our home."
Sharing Toys and Possessions: "I commit to sharing my toys and belongings with my siblings and family members."
Being Kind and Respectful: "I commit to using kind words and showing respect to all family members, even when I am upset."
Participating in Family Activities: "I commit to participating in family activities and spending quality time together."
Limiting Screen Time: "I commit to limiting my screen time to the agreed-upon duration each day."
Keeping Living Spaces Tidy: "I commit to keeping my bedroom and other living spaces tidy and organized."
Being Responsible for Pets: "I commit to taking care of our family pet by feeding, walking, and cleaning up after them."
Expressing Gratitude: "I commit to expressing gratitude for the things my family does for me and saying 'thank you' more often."
Just as Ladouceur's players acknowledged the profound impact of these practices on their team dynamics and personal lives, families can similarly experience transformative growth by embracing these principles. Families can foster a culture of mutual support and responsibility, laying the foundation for enduring bonds and personal growth.
Dr. Analia Carcer and the XQ Focus Consulting Research Team
At XQ Focus Consulting, we provide neuroscience-based insights and individualized tools and strategies to improve your cognitive performance, productivity, and peak performance. Schedule a free 30-minute consultation here to learn more.
“Creating Intrinsic Motivation in Your Teen.” Https://Www.purelifeadventure.com/, 8 Dec. 2023, www.purelifeadventure.com/blog/creating-intrinsic-motivation-in-your-teen/#:~:text=What%20Is%20Intrinsic%20Motivation%20in. Accessed 5 Apr. 2024.
Douglas, Rebecca Lee. “Why Do Kids Today Get so Many A’s?” Freakonomics, 23 Mar. 2024, freakonomics.com/podcast/why-do-kids-today-get-so-many-as/.
Weigel, Daniel J., et al. “Family Influences on Commitment: Examining the Family of Origin Correlates of Relationship Commitment Attitudes.” Personal Relationships, vol. 10, no. 4, Dec. 2003, pp. 453–474, https://doi.org/10.1046/j.1475-6811.2003.00060.x.